It can be somewhat “difficult” to celebrate, when Father’s Day rolls around. The air is somewhat difficult for some, yet for others it is quite simple, to honour your Father for all of the great things he has done for you throughout the past year. To be aware of all of the great times and memories you have made and shared with one another. To be aware of the relationship is “one-of-a-kind”. Yet for some, on Fathers Day, it can be quite difficult. The day may be bittersweet to you because your parent has passed, or there have been circumstances that have happened that no longer include your “father”. You can choose to acknowledge this “difficulty” or “awkwardness” or, on the flip side, you can make an honest decision to celebrate the person, whomever it may be, who walked into your life, or yours child’s life. Lets note, that this person did not fill any void to you or your child, this person simply walked into you or your child’s life as a father figure. Father’s Day is not only for fathers; it is also for father figure too.
Whether it be your grandfather, your brother, uncle, friend, teacher, cousin … anyone can be a Father figure. Biology does not make someone a Father figure, rather personal connection, interest, love (unconditional love) - most times, it’s simply being there for you or your child that truly encompasses a “Father figure”. You see, this is a role worth noting, celebrating even. Imagine, a man with his own biological children (in most cases) being a figure, offering support, to those who never had any, or lost it. They never had to step into that role, it was their choice to do so. Personally I think Father figures should have their own day!
There are many things that I’ve come to the conclusion after my 23 years of living.
Start looking at the positive, and the people who are there to support you and love you.
The stereotypical “family” does not apply to everyone. I have found that I’ve actually made my own little family. “Cousins” become “Aunt” and “Uncle”, “best friends” become “brothers” and “sisters”
Stop, listen, and examine. See who have had a positive and profound impact on your, or your child’s life. The person who was been their when you needed them the most.
There have been years where I have felt that I couldn’t celebrate and had a hard time relating to the point of Fathers Day. There were years of anger, resentment, and even hatred. When I started to look around and see that there were a lot of people who have had a “hard time celebrating”, I started to see the bigger picture; that not all children and adults are meant to be raised by their “Father”. Given the circumstances, there are some children who have had to learn from their past “Father-Daughter” or “Father-Son” relationship, leaving room for the “Father Figure” relationship.
I now think to myself how lucky I am to have an awesome Father Figure in my life. There are some who say “I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for my Father”, but I can now say “I truly wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my Father Figure”.
You see, this is the role worth noting, worth celebrating in fact. This year, lets make Fathers Day, not only for Fathers, but for Father Figures.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!